A is for Ainsley and...Allergy.

I am so completely behind on updates on the little, I have kept track of milestones and done a monthly write up on other media sites but to quickly catch up here is a look at Ainsley month to month..

Ainsley is now 8 months old going on 9 this month. She is really so much fun right now. She makes me laugh all the time. She is so spunky and joyful. She is in a mimicking phase so we shake our head, she does it. We dance, she dances. We sniff, she does. It is too cute! She also started crawling and she now pulls herself up on everything. I love that she is so tiny but still so strong, but she REALLY keeps me busy now!  I absolutely love this growing girl.

While this month has been so filled with so many wonders, it has also been one of the most challenging for me, since she was born. It isn't because she is fussy from teething, or waking up during the night. These things I can take on, these things I can still feel I can care for my sweet girl with love and patience and get through them. The hard part has been watching Ainsley truly suffer due to illness.

Today we were officially diagnosed with FPIES.  Here is some info

Food Protein-Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome (FPIES) is a type of food allergy affecting the gastrointestinal (GI) tract.  Classic symptoms of FPIES include profound vomiting, diarrhea, and dehydration. These symptoms can lead to severe lethargy, change in body temperature and blood pressure. Unlike typical food allergies, symptoms may not be immediate and do not show up on standard allergy tests.  Furthermore, the negative allergy evaluation may delay the diagnosis and take the focus off the causative food.  Nonetheless, FPIES can present with severe symptoms following ingestion of a food trigger. (http://fpiesfoundation.org/about-fpies-3/) 

This is some scary business. Right now our trigger foods include; rice, oats, banana, and sweet potato. As stated above we cannot test for these allergies so we basically have to try foods and pray that it wont be toxic to our sweet girl. It is terrifying to say the least. Our last reaction Ainsley was so sick and lethargic at one time I looked at her, and it was as if my baby wasn't there. Now I do have to say while scary, and trying as this my be. I KNOW there a momma's out there whose littles have had it much worse and from much earlier on. I am so grateful that we have been able to breastfeed and can continue doing so and we don't have to fight to find a formula that she can tolerate. I am grateful that she doesn't seem to have reaction to the food I ingest through my breast milk, as other kids do. Some of the FPIE stories I have heard are absolutely horrific. I pray for those babies and mommas. No child should have to suffer. While I am at it I pray for all the children and parents of those children with other serious disease, or ailments that effect their daily lives. What an absolute sadness I feel watching my baby hurt and I wish so badly I could endure this for her. I pray for the parents of kids with even minor allergies, because what a struggle I'm sure it can be. I pray for ALL the parents of every child, because why not? No matter your personal circumstance being a parent is so hard for so many reasons. I pray to thank my Heavenly Father. While through this trial I KNOW it could be worse, I know there are so many other things that could be happening to me that others are going through and I am grateful for so much and most of all I am just  grateful for this amazing little girl she is my absolute greatest blessing. 

My gift, my blessing, came to me with this. There is a reason I am her mommy and I have to believe that I can be there for her in every possible way. To say that I feel overwhelmed is an understatement. Will I be able to listen to my instincts to help protect her, probably not all the time. Will I be able to be "creative" enough to make things to help cater to her so she never has to feel left out, not always. Will I be able to tell her every single day how special and loved she is... absolutely! While the journey ahead feels daunting in this moment, I know I can do this. I can be strong for her, and love her day in and day out. I can try my absolute best every day, for her. 

I will probably share more of her "fpies story" another time. For today I will end with this....